I woke up this morning with a heavy heart, a little different than usual. When you devote your time and attention to your children especially when they have special needs you tend to lose yourself. It is very difficult to always stay in the positive, take care of yourself and keep pressing forward. It has been at least 13 years since I sacrificed my lucrative job on Wall Street. A job that I loved and was respected by others every day. Then there was the "surprise of all surprises", "the curve ball", "the things that you don't plan on, or think about when your planning on having children", "it's called AUTISM." Just because I stopped working for a salary does not mean that I'm not working even harder at home. You can't put a price tag on sacrificing yourself for the future of your children. So when people say, "Cathy, why aren't you working?" My answer to that is, "I am every day, with the heavy heart, an open mind, and with a smile on my face." I can only pray for the people whom can never wrap their heads around how difficult my life is. I feel beat up, tired, misunderstood, depressed and anxious at times. But every day with a smile on my face fighting the good fight for the future of my children. It has taken its toll, but my boys, especially Anthony, Jr. are showing me that it's all worth it. So as I have tears rolling down my face, please remember you can't put a price tag on things and this is one of them. "So STOP asking me why I'm not working?" "I have the most hardest job in the WORLD!" If you don't have a clue, please keep your comments and stupidity to yourself! (My challenge for myself is: even when I don't feel appreciated, or understood, to know that I was put on this earth for a reason and Wall Street was not that reason.) By the way, just because my son Anthony, Jr. does not reside with my during the week does NOT mean I don't suffer all week long from the emotions I bear in my heart. Just because something is logical in your MIND does NOT mean it is logical in your HEART! This is called unconditional love, but in all reality you suffer the consequences for it daily and in return you hope and pray that all you have done has paid off!