Little Things are Big Things

My husband came home with a huge smile on his face. Why? Our eldest son AJ remembered his birthday, his cell phone number and called him on his phone. I know exactly how he felt because he dialed me at home to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day and told me he loved me. These are the little things that are taken for granted. To us, as special needs parents, it is HUGE. I had a neurologist once tell me not to set the bar so high that he would not amount to much. Imagine? Appreciate the little things because for some us it is just the hope for our children to accomplish those little things.#autismsuccess#HOPE#FAITH

The Ups and Downs of Autism

Hey friends. I find it much easier to post when things are going so well. Another when your heart hurts as a parent because of tough love. My son AJ kicked a hole in the wall because of batteries for his xbox on Saturday morning. I'm sure it was his impulsivity. My husband headed out to buy them only to return to the damage. We were in the process of a solution but apparently it wasn't face enough.(My son Michael ordered a wire adapter from Amazon. No more batteries.) My husband took him downstairs and showed him how to repair it. I asked my son what happens when you are working in the real world and don't get your way? Do you physically damage property, curse and lash out? He put his head down and said no Mom. Unfortunately I had plans to spend quality time but I had to bring him back to his residence. There he broke two staff phones and a window. Destruction of property in my home is a deal breaker. Parents of special needs children know all too well. He's 18yo I expect so much more from him and I know he's capable of it. This autism life is exhausting. The highs and lows of emotions are surmountable at times. He's come very far and yes things could be worse but I'm tired and little heartbroken. I'm a strong person but just want to hide from it all. So enjoy your children this week and keep in mind everyone has a struggle you don't know about. Be patient, loving, care for one another and try not to judge.

Tired of Being Worried and Tired (The Raw Truth)

I know I'm not alone in this. Special needs parents are always tired, anxious, worried, stressed and running on adrenaline. When people tell me I'm strong and that's why I have two sons with disabilities, I have to say it's bullshit. You are special and you only get what you can handle. More bullshit. That's because people don't know what to say. That's the truth. To be honest with you, I'm all about being positive but this life is really dam difficult. I'm so tired of making decisions, worrying about triggers and meltdowns and thinking for everyone that when it comes to myself I'm out of thoughts. That's why it's so important to take care of ourselves. Take time for self nurturing. My mind is my prison lately. I'm really struggling with all of this lately. Now that we have this new Congress in the Whitehouse we never know what challenges they/he will add to our lives on a daily basis. Now we have to continue to fight even harder for services because it looks like disabled children are going to suffer the consequences of our new education system to be implemented along with services and trying to make cuts and changes to Medicaid. From my perspective being discriminated against because of disabilities. So instead of helping the less fortunate or the weak, Congress decided unprotect and give them less. I'm not one for discussing politics but it is in disgraceful taste all that is being descriminated against and dividing us as a nation. So it is my duty to remain resistant and mindful of what is important and fight back. Our future children deserve so much more. We need to preserve democracy as we know it. All of this chaos, hate and divide really does hurt my heart and makes me emotional. I would really like to get feedback in knowing that I'm not alone. Which is how I feel most of the time. We are all different, but should accept the differences with an open mind and heart. I would rather love and care for one another than hate. Peace and love to everyone.